The mood is tense at the FIA headquarters here in Paris, as the Elders of the World Motor Sport Council prepare to hand down judgement on one of the most anticipated cases to have passed through the courts in many years.

Goody Domenicali of Ferrari stands accused of “using witchcraft and sourcery to interfere with the result of a Grand Prix.” These charges of godless heresy are extremely serious, such activities having been expressly banned for the best part of a decade.

Proceedings opened early this morning, with the accused taking to the dock amid a nervous babble from the gathered crowds. The prosecution opened with a damning question, “Is it not true that you, Goody Domenicali, are in league with the Devil himself?”

An image from the Ferrari trial (artist's impression)

Goody Domenicali denied the allegations, reminding the Court that the person in question “retired last November.”

The Court was disappointed to learn that an accomplice, Goody Massa, will not be attending in person. Upon hearing this the Elders instructed that a ducking stool, hastily assembled on the banks of the Seine, be dismantled.

Also absent today is Goody Alonso, who has escaped numerous similar trials in the past without punishment, usually in exchange for implicating others. Goody Alonso was instrumental in the exile of Goody Briatore last year, who was convicted of conjuring a Grand Prix victory in exchange for the soul of a young, quickly forgotten driver.

Despite the efforts of Goody Domenicali, it appears that there is a long way to go to convince the Court of innocence. The bonfire being constructed in the Place de la Concorde this afternoon suggests that the Court’s traditional approach to justice - that of “guilty until proven flammable” – shows no sign of being abandoned.

Ferrari’s interpretation of the device, first seen on a McLaren earlier in the season, raised eyebrows at the Spanish Grand Prix when onboard footage saw the drivers briefly having no hands on the steering wheel as they operated the system, by blocking an air vent in the cockpit with their left glove.

Armless: Ferrari, without their F-duct

Ferrari has confirmed that it does not intend to use the F-duct again until the modifications are complete: “Our F-duct will remain inoperative until we have had Fernando [Alonso] and Felipe [Massa] modified to use the system safely,” a Scuderia spokesman said today. “We are currently consulting the world’s best surgeons to evaluate the possibility of giving each driver an additional arm.”

The weight distribution and balance implications of adding an extra arm to the driver are considerable, and the modifications may mean that the F-duct system is not re-introduced until after the European Grand Prix in June. However, the changes will carry the advantage of adding extra space onto the drivers’ race suits, allowing the team to earn millions more dollars using the space to not advertise various cigarette brands.

A column on Ferrari’s website, however, written by the anonymous “Horse Whisperer,” poured scorn on attempts to declare the current F-duct arrangement unsafe: “This is just idle chatter from teams jealous of Ferrari’s superior pedigree and historical accomplishment,” the unknown author said. “It makes me so angry that I could go and smash a television set.”

Renault expected to be fighting for a top-three place in this year’s Constructors’ world championship, but instead disappointed in Bahrain two weeks ago, with Robert Kubica finishing just outside the points and Russian rookie Vitaly Petrov retiring. Now the French manufacturer has accused departed driver Fernando Alonso of taking team property with him when he left for Maranello in the winter.

Thief? Ferrari driver Fernando Alonso

“We think the extent of the theft is about six-tenths of a second,” Renault team principal Eric Boullier said in Australia. “With the field so tight, any amount of lap time is going to be beneficial to us, so we’re working hard with the FIA to try and get our property back.”

It is not clear whether the rules governing intellectual property in Formula One cover lap time as well as concrete things like technical drawings; however Boullier insists that such a question is moot: “It’s outside the spirit of the rules, and that’s what matters.”

“Rubbish,” retorted Ferrari team principal Stefano Domenicali. “There’s no such thing as ‘the spirit of the rules.’ Unless you’re talking about diffusers or rear wings or something, of course.”

Renault found itself on the receiving end of an espionage scandal in 2007, when McLaren accused them of possessing several floppy disks’ worth of technical information from the Woking team. This went unpunished, despite McLaren having previously been fined $100m and excluded from the constructors’ championship for having an on-demand flow of stolen Ferrari intellectual property courtesy of a mole within the team, which was obviously exactly the same offence.

Rumours: MotoGP star Rossi

The nine-time world champion on two wheels was first linked with an F1 move in 2006, when he tested for Ferrari at Valencia. Since then annual rumours have surfaced about Rossi reevaluating his future in motorcycle racing, with a view to possibly driving on four wheels instead.

“The absurdity and persistence of these rumours are exactly why we love them so much,” one Rossi Day fanatic told reporters. “This year it’s all based around the fact that Valentino will be driving a two-year-old Ferrari at one of the team’s pre-season tests. Quite obviously this is a prelude to an F1 drive, just like it wasn’t the last several times he tried it.”

Rossi has rarely been particularly impressive in his F1 forays, spinning into the gravel on his first attempt at driving an F1 car and later lapping up to a second slower than actual Ferrari drivers. However, this has not stopped particularly adamant fans from proclaiming his switch to F1 as imminent: “Next year, or maybe the year after. For sure!” one fan revealed.

This years’ Rossi Day celebrations are likely to include a formal debate on whether or not Rossi will fall out of his F1 car like Michael Schumacher did when he tried motorcycle racing.

Controversial: Ferrari's annual ski trip

The team are currently on their annual ski retreat in the Dolomites, courtesy of sponsors Marlboro, alongside Ducati’s MotoGP team who are also sponsored by the tobacco company. The incident occurred when Ferrari drivers Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa were pitted against Ducati’s riders, Casey Stoner and Nicky Hayden, in a downhill ski race.

The race was controversial from the start, Alonso missing the signal to begin as he was still strapping himself to his skis. As the competitors approached the finish line, Massa appeared to lose control, sliding into both Stoner and Hayden and pitching all three of them over – leaving a delighted Alonso to take victory, much to the surprise of onlookers.

However, there are now suggestions that Massa was asked to deliberately take out the MotoGP riders in order to hand victory to his teammate. Ferrari have not denied these rumours, though they have been at pains to point out that Alonso had no knowledge of the plot: “If this crash was deliberate, and I’m not saying it was,” team principal Stefano Domenicali said later, “then Alonso had no idea it was going to happen. Absolutely none. Seriously.”

Phillip Morris are said to be investigating the allegations of cheating. If Ferrari are found to have conspired to deliberately impede Ducati – in keeping with previous similar cases – they will be told very sternly not to do it again.